OK so....we have just started the fertility treatments while in the meantime my brother Curtis got married to his now wife Emily! Emily is a great girl and we knew that with Curtis having 3 sisters, any girl he married would have to be approved by us. She passed with flying colors and we were all excited to have a new sister (in law).
So back to the fertility stuff....so we went in for our first round of artificial insemination and it went great. First in the office and first out of the office...that's they way I like it. So the second day we went in (because you go twice in a row) we were 2nd in I was hoping to get outta there soon because I had to be to work by 8am and we were coming from Akron. Well the Dr. only had 1 patient in front of us so it shoulda been in and out. Well it wasn't and my poor husband...bless his heart I was getting so upset that I made him go out and find out what was taking the Dr so long and and didn't say one word, left the room and returned a few minutes later to say that the Dr had gotten into an procedure that took a little while longer than expected. So he had his nurse come in and do it just so we could leave. I wasn't too sure about having someone other than the Dr do the procedure but I had to get to work so...the nurse played pretend Dr.
They tell you it takes 2 weeks before you can find out if your pregnant or not and during that 2 weeks was Christmas. The whole time, we're gearing ourselves up for the fact that I may be pregnant. All the excitement and nervousness lead up to the one we had been waiting for. To our dismay, the tests all came back negative and we were so disappointed. It's like convincing yourself your pregnant and then finding out your not. It was needless to say, heartbreaking! I cried and cried because I just wanted a baby so bad.
After all that happened we had decided to stop the fertility because one, we knew that most couples get pregnant on their own and we didn't want to waste all our money trying when we would probably get pregnant on our own some day and two, we knew that God had it under control. That as long as we had our faith where it needed to be, that things would all work out the way they were intended to.
I had a hair appointment with my new sister in law one day in February and I am sitting in her chair and she says to me "I have something to tell you" and I just said "Your pregnant" and she asked why everyone assumed that (I was right) not realizing that that opening phrase is so commonly used when telling someone your pregnant. So what do I do?? Cry? Give her a hug? show my true feelings and run off?? So I stood up and gave her a hug and said congratulations like a person who is truly happy for someone else should. And I was happy for them just upset that it wasn't me. So we talked about her due date and the symptoms she had been experiencing and I am sure she felt relieved to have finally told me. I went home, called my mom and started bawling. Anyone who has ever tried to have a baby knows how hard it is to see someone else get pregnant. I had always said to myself that I wasn't going to be that kind of person though.....I would be happy for others and go to others baby showers and not get upset when things happened to others first. But at that moment, I was raw with emotion and cried and cried. Not because I wasn't happy for Emily and Curtis but because I didn't understand why them and not me??? But little did I know what God had in store for us in such a short time! To be continued.....
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